Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
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I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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