i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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