how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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