honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
