The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
