i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
