ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
