We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
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just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
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Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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