Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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