Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
honey bunches of taint.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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