That's when you crack a 10am beer
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
We need to get me chipped asap
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
