I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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