i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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