at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
