My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
