I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
