I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize