cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize