Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
