We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
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I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
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Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I need to sanitize my soul.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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