While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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