:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
