how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
sex in a hospital.. check
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
