I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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