I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
