I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
