The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Randomize
