Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
