He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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