..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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