A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
