Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize