He is such a slut. More and more my type.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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