I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
