So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
