office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
