Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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