I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Did I show you my penis last night?
it's like heaven, but drunker
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
