well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
