Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
