Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize
