so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
