is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
