Me too!
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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