I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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