people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
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Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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