i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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