I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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