I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
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