The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Mom said you looked used
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
