I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
