i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
