I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Randomize
