she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
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