when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
