During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize