I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
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His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
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Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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