okay pat passed out under dana's car
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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