I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
