he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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