The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize