Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
