i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
